Step Out Of Isolation

barren childlessness family grief hope isolation loneliness spouse support

by BonnieRuth Rolf

Isolation. It sucks you in, winding itself around you with a tight squeeze, choking out anything that is good. It creates a shadow of darkness, painting images of hopelessness and loneliness. It weaves a web of lies with the messages of self-doubt and worthlessness. Isolation often starts with an inner dialog that is left unprocessed with community, leaving only its voice as the one you begin to believe. 

 Unprocessed grief can often be what ignites the flame of isolation. Grief comes in all forms when walking the road of infertility. It is not just summed up in that one word; “infertility”. It is often the loss of a baby or dreams tainted by the pain of disappointment. Many times grief looks like a marriage struggling to survive life while trying to create it. It can be blow after blow of unfulfilled efforts. The whirlwind of grief can often lie and tell you there is no way out. It is at this point, that we begin to become friends with isolation. 

 Adrift begins to happen inside of you, removing the desire to be seen and known. You pull away and hide in the shadows of isolation, scared, hurting, and alone. This is the vicious cycle of isolation. This is the trap. The very antidote for isolation, community, is the very thing you run from, leaving you ensnared. The purpose your life was meant to have in the midst of pain, gets robbed in the shadows of isolation. 

 There is hope and escape. When you know this vicious cycle of isolation, you can begin to identify when you find yourself in its trap. The remedy of grief is time and processing. The remedy for isolation is to begin to lean into love, friendship, and connection and no longer allow the imperfections and disappointments of your life to keep you hidden. Embrace the current state of your story and share the pain, success, and joy with those you love. Let love wash over you and remove the heavy cloak of isolation. 

 Stepping out of isolation might look like a quiet and safe moment with a trusted friend, a dance party with your favorite song playing, or a dinner date and love-making with your man. It may mean a moment alone in solitude with the Lord. If you are like me it might look more like a moment of utter surrender with the moans of sadness flooding out. It is in these brave moments of vulnerability with those who love you, that the lies of isolation are exposed and a wave of relief comes over you. We need the touch of others, the voice of friendship, and the comfort of intimacy for the fulfillment of our story to be one of beauty and life. 

No matter the barren places in your life, let’s not live broken!

Ep 109 Legacy After Infertility with BonnieRuth

Mar 18, 2024

Ep 107 Trusting Jesus in the Storm with Elaine Fisher

Jan 15, 2024