New Morning, New Mercies

baby depression god hope loss miscarriage pregnancy pregnancy loss trust the lord

by Cassie Juarez

It had been a season of longsuffering. The kind of season that felt relentless, and to be honest I was growing weary. After days of praying and trying to understand. After months of the Lord calling me to trust him in so many new ways. After seasons of giving up, then digging deeper. That morning I felt a fresh heart to trust the Lord. 

A few hours later, filled with sadness, emptiness, worthlessness, my body did the only thing it knew to do, let go. I felt so broken. I remember thinking, "why can my body only bring death?" 

For the first couple of years of my marriage, we had experienced loss in too many ways. It hung heavy over our heads and hearts. I felt a constant weight of not being enough and feeling left out. I was reading my bible, praying, and serving in every ministry possible and yet in this season, I was struggling. What did I really believe about God right now? Was God really good? Was he enough? 

I desired wholeness and healing. But in the middle of this season of pain, and loss and suffering the Lord gave me him. In him, I did get wholeness and healing but it was in such a different way than I ever expected. He gifted me the fullness of himself. He showed me that joy and sorrow actually co-exist. He held me in his word and comforted me, amidst the brokenness, with his promises of who he is.

During this season I settled into Lamentations 3 and clung to his words. 

"Because of the Lord's faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness!" (Lamentations 3:22-23)

These lines are situated in the middle of complete and utter despair. The writer of this psalm takes many verses to describe his pain. He was bitter, without hope, swimming in depression. 

Amid his suffering, he recalls the truth of who the Lord is and has hope! 

In this life, we will see trouble. We will see brokenness. We will see hopes crash to the floor. We will see dreams go unfulfilled. But God's mercies never fail. We can trust that the Lord's mercies will never come to an end. He is our portion and we can feast on him, even in seasons of lack. 

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