Dear Friend -

Mother’s Day is hard.  I sat in church yesterday feeling thankful for all of the moms in my life but burdened for the hurting when they asked all of the moms to stand and be honored.  It still stings and brings back a flood of emotions when I recall how it felt for three and a half years to watch other moms receive roses, standing ovations, and various other accolades on Mother’s Day while my heart broke and yearned for a baby.  If you’ve lost your own mom, if you have a strained relationship with your mom, if you’ve experienced the loss of a child or if you’re longing for one, Mother’s Day can be an extremely difficult day. 

You may have even skipped church yesterday and I’m here to say, “That’s ok”.  There are so many difficult and painful scenarios that may have you feeling a variety of different emotions this Mother’s Day.  Maybe you’re experiencing sadness or grief, anger or hurt, resentment or shame, fear or disappointment, frustration or envy, or maybe even a combination of many of those emotions, in your current desert season. If you can identify with any, or all, of these emotions I want you to know two things.  First, you’re not alone and were on my heart yesterday.  Secondly, you can experience a fresh touch, a renewed sense of hope in this dry desert season, from the Lord through the power of the Holy Spirit if you’d like to.

I genuinely hope and pray that each one of you does not feel alone, that you have a tribe of people, whether a women’s group of sorts, close family, or community that desires to come alongside you when the weight of what you’re walking through feels too heavy a burden to carry alone.  When our infertility journey began we were fortunate to be surrounded by a close community of couples who rallied to pray over us.  They genuinely sought to understand how they could help as we were navigating through that difficult and emotionally draining season. 

Taking that one step further, my nearest and dearest girlfriends desired to walk closely with me through the eventual process of IVF so they took me out to dinner and asked me what I’d be undergoing physically so that they could try to better understand how it would affect me emotionally.  I can’t tell you how fortunate I felt to have friends who asked me how I wanted to be treated, instead of tiptoeing around me either saying things they thought were comforting but weren’t or not saying anything at all.  My prayer for all of you is that each and every one of you experiences this type of joy and support in friendship through whatever challenges you’re facing.

If you’re in what I often refer to as dry and desert season brought on by a longing unfulfilled or a painful loss and you are waiting for a fresh touch from the Holy Spirit, please know that God longs for you to receive one. So how do I get a fresh touch from the Holy Spirit you ask?  For me, there are three ways that help allow me to experience a fresh touch, wind in the stagnate period, and moisture in the desert places.  The first way is through His word.  God’s heart is for us to seek him more, always, to catch a renewed sense of who He is, and who He says we are.

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”   II Corinthians 3:18

We get to experience transformation when we expose ourselves to His word, plain and simple.   We encounter Him in The Word and receive a fresh touch.

The second way we can experience a fresh touch is through prayer, praying specifically to receive this fresh anointing from the Holy Spirit.  I tend to seek Him more when I’m in the desert places and I found that to be true during our infertility.  My faith grew tremendously during that time and I leaned in hard but I know that isn’t always the case, especially if you feel like He’s abandoned you, isn’t granting your requests for a baby, or has taken a baby from you. 

My prayer life has never been stronger than during that time but believe me, I can understand if you’re “not there”. When you’re ready, just remember that the Lord wants to hear it all.  He can take it – all of it.  It’s ok to feel all the things and not even know how to put them into words so sometimes you just cry out.  

The simple act of humbling yourself, posturing yourself before the Lord is enough – just tell Him you wish to experience the Holy Spirit’s touch in a new way and I promise that your dry bones will begin to come alive once again.  If you’re in a very dry season right now and that sounds difficult, ask someone you trust to pray with and for you.

The last way you may begin to experience a fresh touch is to get around others who have the presence of God in their lives.  Spend time with people who emulate traits that you desire in your life.   Ephesians 4:16 says that "From him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work."   Like I said before if you are weak, let the rest of the body of Christ hold you up.  Remember when I mentioned my girlfriends earlier?  This is what they did for me and it was a gift!

It is my prayer and heart's desire that each of you never feel alone in whatever season you’re walking through and that you experience the Lord in a fresh new way if that’s something you desire and I hope that these suggestions help pave the way for that to take place.  Twelve12 is here to help if you find yourself in need of support.  We see you and you are not alone no matter what season you’re in.

Love,

Rachel